But I did
not have the fortune to be born in Mexico, and I’m the only one of the family
who does not have a Mexican passport. I
am actually currently investigating resident or even naturalization
possibilities. Contrary to popular
believe, these migratory issues are not solved automatically upon marriage or
birth. Believe me.
So I’m the
frog. Everyone else in the family is
swimming happily around me. But every
now and again, I need to come up for air.
Let me illustrate.
Mexican
cultural is highly relational. Like most
Latin cultures, it revolves around family and community friendships in ways
that are nearly incomprehensible for Americans to grasp. Our family always has had and always will
have an open door policy with regards to our ministry. There really is no other way to be effective
here, but that’s not why it is our policy.
It is our policy because we genuinely enjoy people, and desire to both
learn from others and hopefully at times teach others by the example of our
lives.
We do a
cultural orientation for every team or intern that visits us. I’ve been using the book Cross-Cultural Servanthood, by Duane Elmer, for the last several
years. It´s one of the books out there
if one is interested in serving others, and not interested only in having good
intentions. After several introductory
chapters, the book lays out an process through which one learns be a servant in
another culture.
The book is
full of good advice. On particularly
salient point is made by referencing research done by a Canadian center
determining factors in a successful overseas experience. Although the study was not ministry-oriented,
the results are directly applicable to those of us involved in cross-cultural
work. The number one factor determining
success of an ex-pats foreign assignment was how well he or she initiated and
sustained interpersonal relationships.
The author
goes on to point out that technical aptitude (knowledge, expertise, etc…),
although important, came in at #4 on the list.
Reminds me of what a friend of mine used to say. People don’t care how much you know until
they know how much you care. The book
begins talking about the importance of acceptance, of “welcoming people into
your presence,” and explores the origin of the word “hospital” as a house for
strangers, where care was given.
Hospitality is not just a polite thing to do, it is a sacred act of
kindness, extended towards those who are different from us.
You can’t
fake love. You can’t falsify genuine
acceptance. People are pretty keen on
picking up on pretense. If there is one
aspect of the culture in Mexico that our northern neighbors need to learn, it
is in the sincerity and embrace encompassed by one phrase here, mi casa es tu casa. This is not a simple platitude, a simple
standard greetings when Mexican’s receive visitors. It is a heartfelt statement of commitment to
your happiness and well-being.
Our house
has been host to more parties than I can begin to remember. We have, on multiple occasions, opened our
front door to more than 50 guests, which is usually fine, because they can walk
right through the house out the back door if oxygen becomes a bit scarce in the
kitchen, dining room and tiny living room.
Some of the most memorable, meaningful and down-right outrageous moments
have happened within the walls of this rented house dedicated to the
unconditional welcoming of those made in God’s image, whatever their age,
whatever their faith, however they come to us.
Remember
the frog. I must confess that there are
times when, in the midst of the chatter, laughter, after the grilling and the
eating, I have to escape, like the frog, and grab some air. Seek some silence. Usually our upstairs bathroom is the only
refuge I find!
You can go to the first part of this reflection by clicking HERE.
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