Friends

During our last night on vacation recently, on the balcony of our hotel, late at night long after the kids and Mayra had gone to sleep, I looked over the beautiful pool area and palm trees under the light of the moon, and finally had somewhat of a revelation.

Revelations from God don't come very often, at least for me. Some of this may have to do with the fact that I'm usually with three very active, very loud kids. My dream vacation is quiet, relaxing times with my wife. Reality is so, oh so much different. If you know our kids, you know what I'm talking about.

But finally, the last night, on the porch overlooking a beautiful hotel and with the sound of the waves in the background...finally God spoke. Of course, not audibly. But clearly nonetheless.

One of the concepts I most value is "friendship." I would prefer to be called a friend much more than a pastor or missionary or whatever else. The word "friend" implies relationship. I implies love. It necessitates a deeper knowledge of someone. Of me, and I of others.

I'm 42. Facebook says I have 464 friends. But what about those friends? Some of those people I am friends with I don't really even know. Some of them I most surely don't even like. Some of them, as evidenced by what they post, are apparently borderline certifiable. Without a doubt, I would not have wanted to share that balcony with most of them that last night at the hotel.

I began to think of who I really would like to be there. Now, obviously I want my wife there. I really want her there. But... bear with me here ladies...guys need guys. Men need men, to challenge each other, encourage each other, motivate each other and keep each other accountable.

I remember a fellow missionary saying that he heard that you can sort of coast spiritually until you're 40. You can ride on the momentum of your background, of your family, of your younger years. But once you're 40, you gotta work at it. More. Constantly. I agree with this sentiment.

So I have tons of friends, but how many friends do I really have? How many men do I want to share my heart with, and listen to theirs? Who do I really want with me on the balcony? Not many. But I need the ones I have. I need friends.

I got a lot of ideas, a lot of vision. I need friends to tell me I'm not crazy, and friends to tell me when I am. I struggle with sin. Daily. I need help with that. I really do. I desperately want to fulfill the purpose that God has for me in this life. I can't achieve that alone, because I have blind spots. I am undisciplined. I get so distracted. I get discouraged and tired (that last part has only happened since I turned 40!).

Discipleship has so many names. Mentor, apprentice, teacher, student, pastor, learner. But my favorite name is "friend." It puts us on the same level, because there is, after all, only one Rabbi, only one Teacher.